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Keyword tags: dog stories funny jokes
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bigdoglover03 Vet vs Dr 1 Feb 20 2008, 8:16 PM EST by marleynpele
Thread started: Jan 25 2008, 8:05 PM EST  Watch
A Veterinarian was sick and went to see the doctor.
The doctor asked him all the usual questions about symptoms etc., when he interrupted him: "Hey look, I am a Vet - *I* don't need to ask my patients all these questions. I can tell what is wrong just by looking." He added, "Why can't you?"

The doctor nodded, stood back, looked him up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to him, and said, "There you are. ...Of course, if *that* does not work, we'll have to have you put down."

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bigdoglover03 How to photograph a puppy 0 Jan 25 2008, 8:09 PM EST by bigdoglover03
Thread started: Jan 25 2008, 8:09 PM EST  Watch
How To Photograph A Puppy

Remove film from box and load camera.

Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.

Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.

Choose a suitable background for photo.

Mount camera on tripod and focus.

Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.

Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.

Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.

Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.

Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.

Take flashcube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.

Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.

Put magazines back on coffee table.

Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head... Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.

Jump up in time to grab puppy and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"

Call spouse to clean up the mess.

Fix a drink.

Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink, and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.
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bigdoglover03 Careful what you wish for!! 0 Jan 16 2008, 9:44 AM EST by bigdoglover03
Thread started: Jan 16 2008, 9:44 AM EST  Watch
As an elderly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on her long life, a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and offered to fulfill three wishes for her.

"Well," said the woman, "I guess I'd like to be rich."
POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned her rocking chair into solid gold.

"And I wouldn't mind being a young and beautiful princess."
POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned the old woman into an exquisite young princess, with a priceless crown of jewels.

"Your third wish?" asked the Fairy Godmother. "Could you possibly turn my wonderful dog into a handsome prince?"
POOF: There, in front stood the most handsome young man anyone had ever seen. She stared at him in awe, completely smitten.

As he came toward her, her knees weakened. He bent down, brushing his lips across her ear as he whispered, "I bet you are sorry you had me neutered."

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